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In an essay published by Being Patient on October 7, 2026, Robert G. Fishman describes how caring for his mother after her dementia diagnosis changed his understanding of memory loss. He says a series of paintings helped him stop trying to make her remember and pay attention to the connection that remained.
Artist and writer Robert G. Fishman says a series of paintings helped him change how he responds to his mother’s dementia, shifting from trying to correct her and restore her memories to meeting her where she is. His first-person account, published by Being Patient on October 7, 2026, describes how art gave him a way to face memory loss and recognize that, in his experience, his mother remained present in their relationship.
Fishman writes that he spoke with his mother every day after she was widowed in 1999. She lived alone in Florida and moved to an independent living facility at about age 91. He noticed changes several years later, initially attributing them to normal aging. By age 94, she was having difficulty using her phones. During a visit in late 2023, he found her apartment in poor condition, with an empty refrigerator and a strong smell of cat urine. She told him everything was fine and, he says, did not notice the odor.
A neurologist diagnosed his mother with early-stage dementia, according to Fishman. She rejected the diagnosis and declined further testing. He describes how their daily phone calls had allowed him to believe she was doing better than she was. After persuading her to move closer to family in Maryland, he found himself correcting her, becoming frustrated and sometimes yelling. He says he struggled with anger, grief and guilt as he tried to make her remember.
Fishman, a retired college professor and nonprofit executive, had returned to painting after retirement. He began making landscapes that gradually lost detail and recognizable forms. He later understood the process as a way of representing his mother’s changing memory. Four paintings became a series he calls “The Art of Forgetting.” He says the work helped him stop fighting the changes and focus on what remained between them. His mother now lives in a memory care unit about 10 minutes from his home.
How Painting Changed His Visits
Fishman’s account describes a change in his approach to caregiving: rather than expecting his mother to return to her former abilities, he says he now tries to enter her world and avoid correcting her. That distinction matters to the story because the paintings did not reverse her dementia; they helped him process what was happening and alter his own behavior during visits.
The essay also gives readers a first-person view of how a relative may experience a dementia diagnosis, including the gap between conversations that sound familiar and practical signs of declining independence. Fishman’s experience is personal, not evidence that art will have the same effect for other caregivers. It does show how creative work became a way for him to express grief and rethink what connection could mean as his mother’s memories changed.
From Florida to Memory Care
Fishman says his mother had long feared developing Alzheimer’s because her own mother was diagnosed at 73 and died seven years later. When Fishman’s mother was still doing well in her early 90s, he believed she might have avoided the same fate. He writes that she strongly opposed local assisted living, telling the family, “Over my dead body.”
After the diagnosis and the deterioration he observed during his Florida visit, the family persuaded her to move to Maryland, nearer to them. That addressed practical concerns, Fishman says, but not the emotional difficulty of seeing his mother change. The move to a memory care unit came later. Fishman’s essay also connects the paintings with his children’s book, Bubby’s Still Here, which he says was inspired by his experience with his mother.
““Over my dead body.””
— Robert G. Fishman, describing his mother’s response to local assisted living
What the Essay Does Not Establish
Fishman’s account does not provide details about his mother’s specific dementia type, the assessments used by the neurologist, or her current cognitive and medical condition. He says she declined further testing, and the essay does not describe any later evaluation or treatment plan. It also does not give a publication or exhibition history for the paintings beyond identifying the series and describing four works as part of “The Art of Forgetting.”
The account is a personal narrative rather than a clinical study. It cannot establish how art affects dementia or caregiver wellbeing generally, nor whether the approach Fishman describes would suit other families. The supplied report also ends before giving further detail about what Fishman and his mother do during their visits.
Visits Continue Near Home
Fishman says his mother is living in a memory care unit near his home and that he visits her. He describes his current approach as entering her world rather than trying to bring her back into his. The essay does not announce a new treatment, public program or next milestone; it presents the paintings and his changed way of relating to his mother as an ongoing personal response.
Further information about his mother’s condition, care arrangements and the future of the painting series was not included in the account. The confirmed next step in the story is simply that Fishman continues visiting her and trying to connect without insisting that she remember.
Key Questions
Who wrote “The Art of Forgetting”?
Robert G. Fishman, a retired college professor and nonprofit executive who is also a visual artist and author, wrote the first-person account for Being Patient.
What is the “Art of Forgetting” series?
Fishman describes it as a group of paintings developed from landscapes that progressively lose detail and recognizable forms. He says the process came to represent his understanding of his mother’s changing memory; four paintings became the series he calls “The Art of Forgetting.”
What diagnosis did Fishman’s mother receive?
Fishman says a neurologist diagnosed her with early-stage dementia. He writes that she rejected the diagnosis and declined further testing. The essay does not specify a dementia subtype.
Where is Fishman’s mother now?
According to Fishman, she lives in a memory care unit about 10 minutes from his home. He says he visits her and now tries not to correct her or force her to remember.
Does the account show that painting treats dementia?
No. Fishman describes painting as a way that helped him understand his experience and cope with his mother’s dementia. The essay does not claim that art treats or reverses dementia, and it does not report a clinical study.
Source: rss
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